Real Men
Right Opinion
Refraining from Criticism

Saturn

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Our tasks for this week

A) Engage with the Alpha Claim of the week: A real man has higher goals. A real man stands up for his opinion.

B) Avoid criticism

1. How often do I criticize? How much of it is meaningful or necessary? What can be omitted?
2. Try to not criticize yourself.
3. If you need to defend yourself against criticism or attack: instead of impulsive counter-criticism, observe/remember the behaviour of the other person over time.

C) Try, experiment with, and incorporate the daily Eurythmy experience into your everyday life.

A real man has higher goals. A real man stands up for his opinions.

Remember the men you worship. Most of the time we worship men who are some kind of heroes. We watch movies where real men are willing to lay down their lives for the greater cause. Be it the urge for freedom, fighting for the country or claiming one's right. Possibly also revenge on behalf of one's children and wife.

Look at them: Bruce Willis in Die Hard, Mel Gibson in Braveheart, Russel Crow in Gladiator, the Spartans in 300. In each of these films it is clear that men who fight for higher goals and are willing to die for them represent ultimate men. At the same time, this comes across as tremendously charismatic. Bruce Willis, for example, has charisma, which is probably not due to his shiny head of hair.

At the same time, you don't have to go to war. Look at Martin Luther King. He didn't go straight to war, but he was prepared to die for his ideal.

We men have goals nowadays, but they are goals like: "make the first 100,000 dollars", "collect" a certain number of women, get this and that job... and then? Those can all be nice goals, but would you be willing to die for that one thing? As a man, would you be willing to die for a greater cause? I mean: For example, how is a woman supposed to feel secure in a relationship if you're not internally willing to lay down your life for something?

Don't get me wrong, you are not supposed to run in front of a bus to save an earthworm. But a man who is not willing to die for a cause greater than himself will always be mediocre. If that is your desire, that is fine. But in this way you will never belong to a category like "heroes" mentioned above.

Are you ready to die?

Quote from men's literature

The Right Opinion

Pay attention to your ideas (thoughts). Think only significant thoughts. Gradually learn to separate the essential from the unessential, the eternal from the transient, the truth from mere opinion.

When listening to the speech of fellow human beings, try to become truly silent inwardly and refrain from all consent, especially all derogatory judgments (criticism, rejection), also in thoughts and feelings. This is the so-called "right opinion".

Eightfold Path

Developing independent opinions and avoiding criticism

If we try to remain open in encounters with other people and refrain from quick judgment, we can meet them quite differently. As a rule, we quickly form opinions about other people, often unconsciously, without even noticing it. Most of this happens in the form of criticism. We become more aware of this when we try to refrain from this kind of opinion formation for a period of time, as in the following tasks:

Task 1: Refrain from making judgements

Exercise: 

• Observe how many times you want to judge and how often others judge.
• Find out which of your judgments are necessary and which are unnecessary and could be omitted.
• Refrain from a considerable portion of the judgments you normally pass. It would be more than enough if only a tenth of them were experienced in our souls.
• When you succeed in not passing a judgement, what happens? What do you observe?

Tips:

• A judgement does not have to be of moral quality, it can simply be the naming of something.
• Try to write down ten banal or significant judgements you made in the last week. Try if you can find nine out of ten that could be put aside as unnecessary.
• Become more aware of all the thoughts that pass through your mind during the day. Recognize and screen the judgements and try to keep only one in ten.

Outcome

• Through these exercises, although they seem to be thought exercises only, you strengthen your will forces.
• You stay centered in difficult situations and criticism and judgment are held back in favor of a wider perception.
• You will become more open to external circumstances and other people.
• Your authentic Self is strengthened in its presence in everyday life.
• And last but not least: Protect yourself from your own judgments! If it is ever necessary to make a judgment, it is enough if you confine yourself to judging the results of your actions, in order to move forward.

Task 2: Make yourself inwardly independent of what you are confronted with.

Exercise

• Try not to say negative things about others. Not to yourself and not to third parties.
• Don't just practice making an objective judgment when you're not involved. Instead, try to come to a free judgment wherever someone attacks you or speaks unfairly about you.
• For example, if someone lied to you, hold back your antipathy against him and also refrain from telling others that he lied to you.
• Instead, watch his actions over time. Use only these perceptions to form a judgment about the person concerned.
• Make a daily review to see how well you managed to develop independent opinions.

Tips

• You can use difficult situations from your past for this exercise. But try to practice with events that happen during this week as well.
• When you get criticized, try not to immediately pass judgment on the person whose criticism hurt you. Instead, try to understand his/her motivation:
  • Does this person really mean me personally, or is it just his/her way of expressing herself?
  • Does he/she actually want to say something completely different but cannot express himself/herself differently?
  • What does he/she actually want to express?
  • Spend time looking at the person and their statement as objectively as possible.
  • Observe carefully whether you like or dislike a particular thought or judgment. 
• Let the other person’s actions and motivations speak for themselves, while refraining from judging or criticizing, and wait patiently to see what other feelings or judgements you may experience.
• Do not repress justified criticism if it is objective.

Try to distinguish between something that needs to be criticized from something youwant to criticize mainly it irritates or disturbs or attacks you.

Outcome

• By staying with yourself you dissolve what creates unnecessary barriers between you and the surrounding world.
• You enhance the control of your ego over your astral body and don’t base your opinions on sympathy and antipathy.

If other people meet you with antipathy and judge you, you can find a clear position and leave the judgments where they originate: in the other person.